I remember when I first started online dating.
It wasn’t hard for me to get women to meet up with me. But for some reason, whenever I called to set up another, I would never hear from them. I think I must have had a 95% rejection rate, and the other 5% of women bored me to death.
The part that confused me the most was that in my mind, I didn’t even think the dates went that bad! The women were polite, conversation went well, and they looked like they were having fun. What was going wrong?
Was it my acne? Was I too nervous? Did I need to be more of a bad boy to attract them? Or was it because I came off a little gay?
Probably all of these played a role in most of the women rejecting me. But there was ONE MAJOR factor that didn’t even occur to me.
This factor is the reason why most men (and women) get rejected. And it had nothing to do with me.
The reason is TIME.
It’s easy to agree to a first date– in fact first dates are quite thrilling. Think about the anticipation of meeting someone new, that rush that goes up and down your spine of knowing that anything could happen.
After the date, though, reality sets in. You know who this person is, so the anticipation is gone. Then you have to start thinking about whether you want to spend MORE time with this person.
Although most people want a relationship, most forget that it actually can be a HUGE time commitment. How often are you going to see this person? Maybe once a week at the minimum? That’s 1/7 of your spare time, or 14% of your spare time; a lot of time given the fact that you probably also lots of other things to do, other friends, activities, family obligations, etc.
After the first date, women have a choice: see you again, or go back online and meet someone new. That someone new doesn’t have to be anyone spectacular– remember that it’s the novelty of meeting someone new that creates the adrenaline, not the person. If you’re not giving women a rush yourself, which option do you think she’s going to choose?
It’s not that women didn’t like me, it’s just that they didn’t like me enough to want to make that sort of time commitment.
When this occurred to me, I started taking a much different approach to dating. Here are three dating tips for men that you can take on how YOU can get a second date. These dating tips for men are kind of shocking and some readers are going to think I’m nuts– but they are effective.
DATING TIP FOR MEN #1: Stop caring about the outcome so much. After going on nineteen dates that ended in rejection, I started to figure “if they’re not going to be interested in me anyway, I might as well speak my mind!” This worked remarkably well. In fact, I started having fun with it, and women started seeing me as having confidence and not neediness.
DATING TIP FOR MEN #2: Started having sex with women on the first date. You heard me. Ballsy right? Well, I got over my guilt around sex and realized that it’s okay to want to have sex with women. In short, I got clear about what I want. And if I was only going to get one chance, I might as well do it on the first date!
Surprisingly, many women did have sex with me (because I was also following dating tip for men #1). Even more surprisingly, many of these women wanted a relationship. To this date, I have seldom had a relationship with a woman who I didn’t have sex with on the first date.
DATING TIP FOR MEN #3: Remember that time is the number one reason why people (men and women) get rejected, and live in the moment on your date.
Those are only three dating tips for men on how to get a second date– but they are more important than any dating tip for men on what to dress or where to eat. If you have the balls to follow just these three dating tips for men, you will turn your game around with women.